Phew. Made it in a bit late last night from attending the 2009 New Jersey Law Enforcement Motorcop Skills event up near the Meadowlands, but the trip was well worth it to hang out with friends (including mikefrommars) as well as scope out the first motor rodeo of the season. It also gave me an opportunity to try out the 8GB memory card I picked up for my camera, which now will allow me to pretty much snap away with no limits at future events (no more running out of room and scrambling to erase bad pics to free up space, woohoo!) As such, I took a little more than 1,000(!) shots at the NJ rodeo and it'll take me some time to go through, process, and upload 'em to my Flickr. I'm aiming to finish it up before my next big trip this coming holiday weekend when I'll be jaunting up to Philadelphia for a strongman show starring none other than Gerard Benderoth! Anyone else gonna be in metro-Philly for the 4th?

In the meantime, the latest 'Name the Bullgoon!' poll featuring a big HnT'd NYPD HWY patrolbull has been closed, and the winning nick -- with 28.6% of the vote -- is 'Spud'! In second place was 'Big Irish' (19%) and in third was 'Cleft' (16.7%). Thanks to all who voted, and do note that 'Name the Bullgoon!' will be on hiatus until July 17th when I will be back in DC after all my travels. Look for it then, as I'm sure I'll have a stalwart example from this weekend's motor rodeo in the competition.

In the meantime, off to enjoy some Five Guys lunch on a gorgeous morning here in the Federal City. Blue skies, no humidity, and a short work week are all 'very good things' I say!

It's a bit spooky when, as soon as the calendar enters Summer proper, the weather forecast flips like a switch from gray and rainy to this:







Awesomeness! Here's to hoping this good weather likewise spreads up to Northeastern Sector when I jaunt up to New Jersey next weekend for my first motor rodeo of the season out by the Meadowlands (For a preview of what y'all can expect, pics of last year's rodeo can be found here.)

In other news, we have a new winning nick in the third 'Name the Bullgoon!' poll of '09. The winning goon sobriquet is...'Brick' with 22.4% of the vote! 'Big Rig,' 'Monty,' and 'Ox' all tied for second at 17.2%, and 'Bullyboy' was a distant third with 13.8% of the tally. Thanks to y'all for voting, and stay tuned for this Friday's poll, which will most likely feature this strapping patrolbull with the NYPD HWY Patrol; nickname suggestions for him are more than welcome!

Other than that, it's a pretty quiet Monday morning and the sunshine is pretty friggin' gorgeous. I'm looking forward to rocking my Oakleys when I walk around at lunch today!

SRSLY, what is in the water in Louisiana? Their roster of big stud-bubba lawmen down there is beyond impressive, including this motorman from NOLA PD I found on Flickr:





The tight breeches, cleft chin and farmer's motorgoon's tan are especially spectacular :D

Thank to those of y'all who voted in the latest 'Name the Bullgoon!' poll from this past Friday. The winning nick this round was 'Doublestuff' clocking in at a whopping 29.8%, easily beating the next contestants of Pickles (17.5%), Peaches (15.8%) and Tubby (15.8%). Stay tuned in the meantime for this Friday's upcoming round of nickname-polling.

In other news, time is flying by in the Federal City. Between some crazy news-worthy incidents here, Capital Pride, and a big work project, it feels as if the first weeks of June have slipped through my fingers. Luckily I at least had my camera on me to record some of it as it raced by:



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IN THE CITY OF CAMERAS AND FACES, AND FACES THAT KNOW CAMERAS, AND CAMERAS THAT KNOW MORE THAN WE THINK
JUNE 3-14, 2009

Best part may be the extended Starbucks breakdown (even though it's actually Falls Church [where I live] that has the most Starbucks per capita in the entire world), or the general yuppie hilarity. Scarily enough, I pass by every place in this video on a daily basis:

After the shooting at the U.S. Holocaust Museum this afternoon, the downtown sector of Federal City seems to be under a crazy lockdown. Constitution Ave., 15th Street, NW and the rest of downtown routes are pretty much FUCKED, and the Mall is filled with dazed tourists and media vultures (including me, briefly!) Pretty weird stuff for an otherwise stifling humid, quiet day here.

Well, the first 'Name the Bullgoon!' poll of 2009 has come to a close with a big ol' bunch of y'all participating. The runaway winning nick this time was 'Roadblock' with 35.9% of the vote, trailed closely by 'Porkloin' at 25% and 'Jumbolaya' at 20.3%. Thanks to all for voting, and stay tuned for another poll this Friday, which will either feature a local motorlug or another lawman who was in town for Police Week. (And, as per a recommendation from mikefrommars, any new suggestions for nicks to use in future polls are heartily encouraged!)

In the meantime, I'm hella miffed at the continuing onslaught of weekday rain which has hovered over the Federal City for the last three weeks or so. This morning's dosage of deluge-tasticness came in the form of a rip-roaring thunderstorm at 0600h, providing a kind of natural alarm clock of thunderclaps and car alarms. Fun times. This afternoon risks more chances of t-storms, just like every other weekday as of late, putting a real damper on my photography opps. Harumph!

Other than that it's back to the Federal grind for now.

...in all their infinite wisdom and glory:

-- In Europe, they're getting all Norsefire-y.

-- In Eastasia, they're super busy showing the depths of progressive people's democratic justice. Can you say 'human bargaining chips,' anyone?

-- In the ever peaceful and religiously advanced MidEast, they're still being intolerable ethnoreligious-supremacist assholes who pretty much deserve one another (and who both deserve to be cut off from the teat of the US Treasury like useless limbs need tourniquets [Why the fuck do we pay these folks billions of $ which could go to Haiti, Honduras or Michigan, SRSLY?]) And why do I doubt a pretty speech in Cairo will prompt cretins to stop being cretinous?

-- Africa, oh LOL. Post-colonialism will forever eat its children and any concept of human rights, full stop.

-- And in Latin America, another day, another tick in the progression of Mexico from semi-First World basketcase to straight-out postmodern narcostate. Pass the coke and headless tourists!

There's too many other acerbic things to say here other than I'm glad I did not pursue a career in my major, because I'd be too busy laughing in foreigners' faces for all the wrong reasons. I'm just not diplomatic I guess! I'll remember to keep my mouth shut in London other than when I giggle and point [not at the British in particular, but at various things].

Meanwhile, do vote in the 'Name the Bullgoon!' poll whilst you still can; currently 'Roadblock' is in the lead above 'Porkloin' and 'Jumbolaya,' but there could be enough sleeper votes to make it a close race!

So recently I went on a semi-major shopping trip to Tysons Corner, specifically Tysons Corner Center, to stock up on summery stuff and also buy some new shoes for work. Oy vey.

I know I'm not exactly a very trendy dresser (I think all my hanging around cops has given me a predilection toward having a very coppish lack of fashion sense) but I was honestly pretty bummed out by the summer offerings. After wandering through more than a dozen stores -- Hollister, Gap, Abercrombie, Express for Men, Aeropostale, American Eagle, L.L. Bean, Eddie Bauer, Banana Republic, Benetton, Lucky Brand Jeans, Old Navy, etc. -- it was pretty apparent that summer clothes for men have been boiled down to an almost Soviet-like level of similarity. Everywhere I turned, it was all striped polo shirts in various primary colors (or polo shirts with little corporate logos on the chest -- like a seagull, or an eagle, or the store's name), chunky/too-loose cargo shorts that looked like they'd been washed too many times, plaid long sleeve shirts with hideous faux-pearl buttons with sleeves you were supposed to roll up (which is a ridiculous thing to wear in DC humidity), or t-shirts with hideous logos or brand names made out of floppy abrasive cloth stitched over the front. Blech. Took me 4 hours just to find cargo shorts that looked sturdy and not threadbare, a polo shirt that wasn't some striped/corporate mess, and a print tee that actually was both visually fun (a black on red silhouette of a sunglassed woman on the Venice Beach boardwalk proffering a martini) and comfortable to wear. And worst of all: there wasn't even any fun goony eye-candy along the way. Harrumph!

Anyways, I think this all just tells me I need to break out of my suburban instincts and find better places to shop. Where do y'all go when you're looking for fun summery stuff to sport?

A photo-dump of various scenes from May, excepting National Police Week, as I try to get back into the swing of things on LJ. Can't believe it's been a whole month since my last Daily Landscapes post!

In other news, had a great time at the Motley Bar beer bust on Friday and also have to thank my buddy Joe for introducing me to the Altman-esque '90s classic Dazed and Confused, which had heretofore been an odd lacuna in my cinematic repetoire. I think I may have to make it my standard 'start-of-summer movie' to re-watch over and over each May :-p


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MAY DAZE
MAY 3-30, 2009
REHOBOTH BEACH, DE | CRANBERRY TOWNSHIP, PA | SOMERSET, PA | THE FEDERAL CITY

Apologies for not posting much as of late, but since I've been pretty much dividing my time these days into three basic tasks -- sleeping, working, and running amok at National Police Week -- it's at least understandable that I haven't been able to pop on LJ as much as I'm used to. Suffice it to say, it's the madcap craziest time of year for me right now, doing eighty different things at once at work and then running outside at quitting time to romp with the seemingly endless amounts of high-and-tight'd, swaggering cops in town for NPW. It is awesomeness.

More to come once things calm down, but rest assured my camera has been equally busy as me (my Flickrstream is struggling to keep up with all the pics I'm snapping!) At least tomorrow I get to take the day off of work and relax a bit more at an event at the Capitol and then a stop by over at the Nats game to watch a demo by the Philly Highway Patrol Drill Team. Then it's another ramp up of my schedule with a trip to PGH on the weekend! W00t!

Been socked up as expected with work; 10 days 'til one major hurdle is passed and another 20 until the biggest one can be put to rest. And, of course, my busiest time at work dovetails up precisely with National Police Week, which is almost upon the Federal City with its promises of badged bulls swaggering in the streets, the roar of Harleys echoing off the monuments, and the Irish pubs filled to capacity. It's gonna be interesting to try and keep up with both my job and play schedules! :-p

Meanwhile, it's been protest season here in DC, which has been giving me ample practice in my photography as of late:


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PROTEST SEASON
APRIL 23-30, 2009
BALLSTON--ARLINGTON, VA | THE FEDERAL CITY

It's been steady busy craziness at work this week -- which has prevented me from posting much -- and I've been enjoying a pretty hectic non-work schedule as well. Last Friday I had an awesome time at Jimmy V's, and on Sunday got to take in The Flaming Lips' performance at Earth Day on the National Mall (With a dose of USPP motorbruiser goodness to boot!) This weekend has me set in taking in an azalea-filled picnic at the National Arboretum with Joe/jacked01 and Bruce/sinterbear and enjoying the first warm weather of the year. Good times!

Oddly enough, even though I've recently been reading Livejournal less (or maybe because I have), I've definitely noticed the growing trend of folks drifting inexorably away from this site toward the event horizon of the ever-embiggening Facebook (Heck, I signed up a while back, too.) I suppose this trend is inevitable in some ways due to FB's higher level of social networking and the new modern predilection toward quick updates and snappy synopses of daily happenings. But while it's sad to see the increase in 'final posts' on LJ, I think this site will retain the more journal-y members who enjoy LJ's connectivity as well as the ability to fully post what's on their minds in a brave resistance against the allure of reducing everything one does to a few lines. Not that there's anything wrong with that -- but it's nice to read lengthy posts, too.

Anyways, that's what I've been up to as late! I'll endeavor to post more in the slacktime between now and Memorial Day...and maybe I'll have to revive the 'Name the Bullgoon!' posts now that warmer weather is drawing out the lugs. Have a great weekend in the meantime, y'all!

Went to the DC version of the Tea Party protests at lunch -- to take pics, not to participate. I correctly assumed there'd be some Republibubbas in the crowd as well as motorcops doing protest duty...and the protest antics from a side of the spectrum which usually doesn't protest much in DC were interesting to witness. Sadly I missed the whole hilarious clusterfuck that went down around 1330h when some moron decided to lob a box of tea over the White House's north fence, thus prompting an immediate shutdown and evacuation of Penn. Ave. and Lafayette Park by the Secret Service and ending the protest way earlier than originally intended. Brilliant thinking there, folks.

Anyways, I'm puttering around the house tonight and after finishing with Lost, I turned on Fox News to see their take on what I witnessed today as a (literally) soggy, incoherent (The US is Cuba! Ron Paul! Kill the Federal Reserve! Check out my Cabbage Patch doll collection!), kind of sad protest. What comes on but Greta van Susteren (who I've always found tacky and merciless) screeching her way through a chat with Glenn Beck, my favorite formerly-alcoholic ex-morning DJ, who's 'reporting' from a rather sun-dappled and large Tea Party at the Alamo in San Antonio, TX. Toward the end of the 'interview,' Greta adopts this smarmy little smirk-tone and says cattily, 'Not to sound overdramatic or anything, but it almost looks like Texas is ready to secede!' to which the assembled Tea Party crowd cheers loudly (she's piped in to entertain them, of course.) Did this stupid bitch just fan the flames of secession? Doesn't this go against the whole last 8 years of 'United We Stand'? And just to add to the complete mixed messaging of this whole Tea Party mess, not thirty seconds after the crowd cheers for Texas to leave the Union, the same exact crowd begins chanting 'U-S-A! U-S-A!' Make up your fucking minds, folks!

Blech, now she's reporting on the DC protest -- and claiming 2,000 folks showed up. Do these people inhabit a parallel universe or something? WTF?

Do not try to fuck with the US Park Police and attempt to run down two of their officers with your car. You will lose.

Also heard gunshots this evening at 2030h a few blocks north of Chinatown. Peoples: don't you know DC has a no gunfire rule before 2200h? It's just loud and rude to shoot them so early.

Quite honestly, the previews for this movie don't fully demonstrate what a bizarre, eerie, subversive 'comedy' this movie is. It definitely takes a radically unique flick to give me a boner for 1/4th of the movie, make me laugh at another 1/4th, and firmly plant a 'WTF?' look of shock on my face for the remaining half when the director mixes a strangely grisly amount of bloody violence with odd, randomly-interspersed moments of deeply acidic social commentary and fully-intended pathos. To sum up: This is most assuredly not a re-hash of the other mall cop comedy of the year -- Paul Blart; this is a vastly darker, creepier film, and, dare I say, a strangely deep one, with an off-kilter tone mixing more broadly-comedic punchlines about socioeconomics, alcoholism, drug abuse, date rape, gun fetishism, racism, police procedure and bureaucracy, authority worship, disabilities, proscription drugs and mental illness with actual subsumed and dark commentary about such issues until you don't know if you're laughing because it's funny or because it's so awkwardly unsettling, politically incorrect, and misanthropically merciless. I'll even go so far as to say I think the Village Voice comes closest in correctly identifying the film as a strangely prescient look at our current national mood of growing proto-populism and enraged, formless nihilism. (My favorite review has to be this one from CHUD, however.)

I give it a B- on comedy, an A- on Seth Rogen's sexiness in uniform, and a strange, hesitant A for being a severely dark melange of film styles and cultural commentary that is so rarely seen out of Hollywood and is surely going to be a career risk for both the director and heretofore happy-go-lucky Rogen. (The sound director also gets an A++ for using The Band's cover of Dylan's acerbic and ominous 'When I Paint My Masterpiece' and other choice song selections [Queen's soundtrack to the 1980 camp-action classic Flash Gordon during Rogen's fight scene with cops most notably] to form a soundtrack that's whip-smart in conveying the actual tone meant for the movie.)

Heretofore, crazy work and other stuff has kept me from hopping up to New York City this year. Thankfully there's always fine folks on Flickr who provide vicarious glimpses of the Big Apple and, more importantly, who provide views of one of my favorite spots in the city: the Lower Manhattan security checkpoint as run by the NYPD's HWY Patrol! Here's a shot from a tourist who visited the city in March showing some classically stalwart patrolmen keeping tabs on things, most notably the budding bull on the left sporting some kickass gauntlet-style gloves. Way cool!




Dunno when I'll get up to the city again, but it's on my spring and summer agenda. In the meantime, I'm now counting down to National Police Week, which kicks off a month from now with the Law Ride on 5/10. I'm so looking forward! :D

Whilst I tend to think of Flickr as a very 'real-time' site, with great potential for use as an instant photo-journalism resource, I do have to realize that there's a slower pace to most users' uploads. This came to mind as I was Flickrsurfing yesterday and started finding yet more uploads by users across the Goonited States of officers from various St. Patrick's Day events several weeks after the fact. Better late than never, I say, especially with some of the following stalwart examples of honor guard lawmen and motorbulls from Rhode Island, upstate New York and Pittsburgh, PA (which tomorrow will be commemorating the three officers killed on Saturday, with planned attendance by members of Oakland PD as well):









Meanwhile, it's busy, busy, busy at work. On top of that, tourist season is well into full swing in the Federal City with the sidewalks and Metro clogged full of slow-moving gawking folks who think DC is some sort of Governmentland theme zone at Disney World rather than the 8th (or 4th if you include Baltimore-Towson) largest conurbation in the country with, like, real people who need to, like, actually get to where they're going and stuff!

The upside, of course, is the high proportion of absolute bubba lugs within these gaggles of tourists, including one particularly built-like-a-tank blond military beefhead I was crammed up next to on the Orange Line last night. No pics, alas (I could barely move to reach for my camera, let alone get a good angle) but his endless deep-voiced chattering with some other tourist about 'How do y'all go to Foggy Bottom?' and his 'Yes, Sir. No, Sir. I'm well trained, Sir' demeanor was, shall we say, utterly delightful.

Wrapping things up: Anyone interested in pics from this past weekend's Cherry Blossom parade and post-parade festival can click here to see 'em. Notable sightings were the USPP Motor Unit in full Class A regalia, a stalwart saluting Navy Seabee, and, um, Alex Trebek for good measure.

Another photo-dump of the last week or so, when the crew from Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist 'Church' came to town (with attendant counter-protesters and a squad of USPP motorcops to keep the peace), the cherry blossoms popped open, and the streets returned to their usual warm weather crowds of locals and tourists. I am looking forward to the weekend after a pretty hectic week at work, and hope to hit up the Cherry Blossom Parade and Japanese Street Festival in particular this Saturday.



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LOVE, HATE, GOD, DEATH & DUCKS
MARCH 24-31, 2009
FALLS CHURCH, VA | THE FEDERAL CITY

Been kind of offline as of late now that my job is entering the busiest time of year for me. From now through Memorial Day should be pretty hectic, with only the briefest of respite for National Police Week in mid-May. Le sigh.

Also sigh-worthy: It appears that the recession and budget cuts have combined to spell the end of the Boston Police Mounted Unit, the oldest such unit in the country and a bastion of stalwart, saddled lugs such as below:


A real shame that such a unit has to be eliminated due to budget cutbacks, with civilian employees of the unit to be laid off and officers reassigned. Equally dire is the lack of word on what will happen to the horses. Mounted units may appear to be old school and old-fashioned to many, but they have great utility in community relations and crowd control. Something tells me BPD brass will regret cutting this unit in the future, probably sometime around the next Red Sox World Series victory...

Just your usual Daily Landscape(s) photo-dump of the last two weeks or so, as the Federal City Metrosector careened slowly toward an eventual springtime thaw and marked St. Patrick's Day (despite CNN's Lou Dobbs wanting to do away with St. Patrick's as well as 'St. Columbus Day' [sic] and Chinese New Year and any other evil 'ethnic' holiday in some spectacularly bizarre radio rant that seems straight out of 1860 rather than the 8th full year of the 21st C.) Shhhhhh, no one tell Lou our current prez has that evil foreign mick bloodline in him (along with 22 prior presidents) or his head might explode crazyjuice all over his microphone!



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THE BIG THAW
MARCH 6-17, 2009
EAST FALLS CHURCH--ARLINGTON, VA | ALEXANDRIA, VA | BALLSTON--ARLINGTON, VA | THE FEDERAL CITY

Fun true fact of the day: My entire agency's annual budget is actually smaller than the $165 million in 'bonuses' handed to AIG Financial Services executives last week...which I guess they earned by dint of their amazing and very difficult jobs completely fucking up the world's financial system! I mean, really, it's not like just anyone can screw up the entire world economy -- it takes geniuses to mess it up this badly!

Another fun fact: This $165 million in bonuses is only the first part of $400 million in bonuses to AIG's Financial wing. And that doesn't include the $600 million in bonuses which will be paid later this year to other AIG executives in their global insurance wing. So, in sum, the US taxpayer is about to pay a cool $1 billion in executive bonuses alone (Which is a little less than the entire GDP of Samoa [pop. 217,000]) or about 1/6th the annual budget of the FBI!)

A final fun fact: As stated in the linked article above, AIG employees at their global Fairfield County, CT-based Financial Services HQ are starting to piss their pants and skip work over the death threats trolling in. I feel bad for the secretaries and the janitors. But not for anyone else. If there's any town that deserves an angry mob storming in and tar and feathering folks, it's Wilton, CT. It's the kind of town where residents even look down their noses at other filthy-rich Fairfield County suburbs. All I ask is that the mob spares Christopher Walken's mansion, mmkay?

And on that note, Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I should realize by now that anytime I get an impromptu call from mikefrommars/Mike informing me that he's dropping into town in a few hours that I should start preparing my liver for immediate mass consumption of every drop of alcohol in metro-DC. And to gird myself for the guaranteed insane adventures to follow.

To put it short and quick, Mike came down this weekend to celebrate some very awesome recent news in style; within a few hours, we already plowed through three Irish bars, a few gallons of free liquor, nearly abducted a dimpled double-chinned South Carolinian Air Force bullpuppy, and made an after midnight wandering down to the National Police Memorial whereupon my memory starts getting more than a little hazy. It was frankly almost as insane as Police Week '08 with the whole Australian cop adventure, and I sure felt every ounce of too much fun when we woke up late on Sunday for the parade downtown -- or, as I grumbled to Mike as we stumbled toward the parade route, coffee and cig in hand: 'Epic hangover is EPIC.'

Regardless, it was a blast! And big congrats again to Mike for his great news.

In the meantime, my scattered pics from the DC parade can be found here. Nota bene: I arrived totally late and thus didn't really get as much pre-parade shots as I usually do. Also, the drizzly rain really put a damper on a lot of the motorbulls, alas.

Ugh, and now back to the Monday grind.

America! It's the only country in the world where someone (Glenn Beck) who used to be a 300 lb., alcoholic, long-haired local morning DJ on a crappy Top 40 station -- whom I had to suffer through on the school bus taking me to elementary school in Orange, CT back in 1988 -- can reappear in the present day as a post-rehab, hairplugged wingnut host of a major cable news talk show which he's using as a vehicle to team up with Chuck Norris(!) to promote some sort of anti-Federal 'revolution' entitled 'WE Surround Them' complete with self-described 'cell groups' apparently 'forming' across the country. His YouTube vids are even more full of deliciously scary crazyjuice.

The best part of this whole thing is I can't even tell if this is SRSLY some sort of actual attempted mass movement, or if it's a pure delusion of grandeur by some guy who used to introduce Gin Blossoms singles with a co-host named 'Vinnie from East Haven.' It's like some Horatio Alger story from some demented parallel universe...except it's, like, actually happening!

I've undoubtedly mentioned it before, but nothing quite says Spring to me like St. Patrick's Day parades and the sight of co-ethnic Celtogoons strutting their stuff as only a kilted lug can. The first round of parades have already been held, with a special nod of the tam o'shanter toward Hoboken, NJ/Northeastern Sector and the quality bulls from local police departments that marched in their parade as seen here as snapped by a New Jerseyite Flickr-er:













In the meantime, my own photos from the small but fun St. Patrick's Day Parade in Alexandria, Virginia (on a day with wonderful 70+ degree temps) can be found here, with my usual heavier emphasis on the motorbulls on display, of course. But this is just all practice toward gearing up for the DC parade next Sunday, albeit our local festivities are much smaller than what's forthcoming in Boston, New York, Chicago, Savannah, and other Irish-laden hotspots up and down the Eastern Seaboard. Anyone going to a big parade near to you for the real first signifier of the new season? What are your big traditions for the day aside from wearing green and imbibing the Holy Drink? Or are y'all usually too busy simply enjoying the scenery? :-p

Also: Holy wowsers, the new Röyksopp is amazingness. Think Madonna's 'Hung Up' but instead of her chirpy meaningless vocals about her meaningless disposable relationships, you insert Robyn playing the part of a psychotic, retro-futuristic, hyper-obsessive girlfriend leading a chorale of building apocalyptic tension and operatic swooshes that really is quite fitting for the sound of the now. But really, how can you go wrong with a song with a Swedish-accented hyper-precise English opening line of 'I go mental every time you leave for work'? It's like ABBA meeting an electro-Armageddon, with a string section -- I can't wait for the full release!